Top 5 lessons my mother taught me

“My mama always said life is like box of chocolates you never know what you gonna get” – Forrest Gump

That quote is just one of the many teachings learned by Forrest from his mother. I am no Forrest Gump. I don’t have a childhood sweetheart named Jenny. I don’t have that athletic ability to make a touchdown at a major football event or beat a Chinese in a ping-pong showdown. I didn’t have the chance to be provided a room at Watergate Hotel and inadvertently helped the US Government to expose the Watergate Scandal forcing President Nixon to resign. No, I am not the one who taught Elvis Presley his hip-swinging dance move. And most of all, I don’t own a Bubba Gump.

But just like Forrest, I also have a collection of quotes and simple lessons that can last me a lifetime – lessons my mother taught me. Let me share a few of them here.

Lesson #1: Education is the great equalizer. Among my sibs, I am the only one who had the chance to start the primary levels in a private educational institution. Our life is still good at that time and our parents had the capacity to send us to private schools and we can afford the latest X-Men edition cards and toys. Bibo and makulit as I was, I had several “courtesy calls” at the principal’s office. When I was in Grade 2, I skipped certain classes to spend the remaining school hours tinkering and playing on a machine then called ‘Personal Computer’ at the school library (at least sa library ako tumatambay haha). After school, I noticed that my ‘gangmates’ at that time were being picked-up by their dads and moms in either a Pajero or a Corolla (the popular vehicles at that time) while I am being picked up by a jeepney school service. During a lunch, I asked my mama “Di ba nag-aral na mag-drive si papa? Bakit wala pa tayong kotse?”. My mother answered “Meron na kaya lang kulang pa ng turnilyo. Pag naka-graduate ka na, ikaw na ang bibili nung turnilyo para ma-deliver na yung kotse”. At that time, I wonder how expensive the ‘turnilyo’ might be.

Lesson #2: Love your work and your work will love you back. This lesson was handed to me when I was in Grade 6. I have just won a string of journalism competitions back then and I was heading somewhere in Mindanao to compete at the national level. My mother was my very first writing coach. In preparation for the upcoming tilt, I would practice writing features and editorials which I would hand to her for comments. Her usual comment was “Parang kinahig ng manok talaga ang sulat mo. Maganda naman. Ayusin mo lang yung sulat mo baka di maintindihan ng judge”. But I believe, I never ceased to impress her as I saw her reaction right after reading my work. She was not that showy to us. When I was about to enter the airport (my first time to ride an aircraft by the way), she said “Basta lagi ka lang magdadasal. Mahalin mo yung ginagawa mo para di ka kabahan o mapagod.”

Lesson #3: Do it with feelings. I went home from a basketball game one afternoon. I was surprised to find one of the barangay kagawads in our living room. My mother had enlisted me to join an amateur singing contest without my knowledge and Kagawad was there to hear me sing! Waaah! I was really really hesitant and shy. But when I learned that the prize money was big enough for me to buy a Spalding basketball, I finally gave in. Rehearsals were conducted at our living room with the help of our newly-purchased karaoke. I committed a few sharps but it didn’t matter to her. She’s more concerned with singing with feelings. Showmanship. “Lagyan mo ng feelings. Dapat galing sa puso”. I really found it ‘dyahe’ because I’m not used to singing with pa-emote emote effect just like Martin Nievera or Gary V (eventually mimicked by Jose Manalo and Wally Bayola), ang baduy kasi! Ironically, I won the competition because of it (don’t ask me about the details please haha).

Lesson #4: Help those who are in need even if it means sacrificing some of your own. Ask anyone in our place in Antipolo. Ask them if they knew my mother and you’ll definitely get a positive response. My mother had been known for being helpful and kind to those in need. As a child, I witnessed many people visiting our home to ask for her help, both financially and in kind. Even it means letting go of some few kilos of rice in our table. We’re neither rich nor middle class by the way. She’s really good in building connections and relationships with other people. I admire her guts in dealing effectively with all kinds of people. I bet had she decided to run for a public office, she’ll definitely have many supporters. On her unexpected demise, hundreds of people came in to pay their last respects to her. One of our elementary school teachers had commented during her wake, “Kung may isang magulang lang na pwedeng gawan ng istatwa sa school, siya na yun”.

Lesson #5: Big waves start from small scribbles. This is what I consider the most valuable lesson she taught me . I think big. I have a lot of big dreams. But most of the time, I don’t have the patience to deal with the nitty gritty. We were talking about the conference I have attended and I shared to her who the speakers and guests were. “Mga bigatin sila”, that’s how I described them to her. I said to her about my plans after passing the board. I said I want to fast-track. But she said, “Wag ka magmadali. Lahat ng bagay dumarating sa tamang oras. Lahat ng malaki nagsisimula sa maliit.” When I entered the workforce, I found out that everything she said was true.

I fondly commemorate all these lessons with her as I celebrate the All Soul’s Day. Mothers had their own ways of explaining things to us. As Forrest said, “Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them”.

Indeed, mothers know best.